Our Great Pumpkin 2007

You know how your spouse or significant other or whatever will ask you a question that's not really a question or make a request thats not really a request? Does this just happen to me or is this everyone? I can never tell. Let me explain.

Every year Jen and I go pumpkin shopping. Jen has a great eye for decorating and pretty much every thing that you would call cute. I, on the other hand, have no such talent, but seem to think that I have a keen eye for detail. So when we go pumpkin shopping every year I get a number of these "requests" and "questions". The "request" is that I go pumpkin shopping. Now, I have to interject here that I recognize the fact that my wife has a great eye for these things and I have none, but I relish the days when I pick something that she looks at and agrees with. Come on guys, you know what I am talking about. It's just nice to actually be right about something sometimes. Anyway, when Jen asks me if I want to go pumpkin shopping the unedited testosterone fueled jerk that speaks in every male's brain says "First, I couldn't care less about pumpkins. Second, I know any one I pick out will be over-ruled, and my presence or opinion will have no effect on the pumpkin actually chosen. So I would rather sit in my own filth on the couch as watch football in an ever growing pile of potato chip remnants while I watch football and scratch my unmentionables." Then the reason run part of my brain shows the Testosterone Jerk how saying such a thing will lead to me eventually becoming Jon Bobbit type national punchline, or to my eventual loneliness or death. So the reason part of my brain edits the Testosterone Jerk. (Ladies, let me just say here that you have no idea how much effort it takes to continually edit the Testosterone Jerk. Cut us some occasional slack). In earlier years my attempts to chose a proper pumpkin have been thwarted again and again. Before last week I was an abject failure in the art of pumpkin selection. I'm here to report that those days are no longer.

This is a picture of this years pumpkin. It is here celebrated due to the fact that I picked it and (pause for effect) Jen signed off on it. I therefore declare it the best pumpkin ever picked and look forward to the day that I might slaughter it to engrave a terrifying image on it to celebrate this pagan festival of death...

That sounded much more festive and much less crazy in my head.